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A new chapter after my 8 IVFs that didn’t work out

My name is June. Not all of us waited until 40 to try IVF. I got married at 28 to a divorced guy aged 48 and had had a vasectomy after having had his 3 kids. I knew about the vasectomy before we were married, and I knew that the procedure was reversible. Well, what I didn’t know, is that the reversal has dismal success rates if done more than 10 years post vasectomy. So here, I was, nearly 30, and ttc (trying to conceive) but with no success. We tried IUI which was unsuccessful too, and at the age of 33, I debuted into IVF. We have had 8 of those, and at 40, I decided to put a cap to it all. We were deep in debt, dreams had been shattered, marriage was in in serious shambles (most of our marriage has been spent ttc!). When at 39 we were advised to try donor eggs and donor sperm, I thought: Wait a minute, a child not biologically related to me or my spouse and carried in my womb is truly the last bit of narcissism left of this marriage! Why not just adopt? And therein came my aha! moment. I didn’t want adoption and neither did my husband, so in fact, we decided to begin this new chapter in our marriage where accepting that just the two of us was the only nuclear family we had.

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