The drive to have children varies across individuals. Some people say they’ve always dreamed of having children and knew they wanted to be a parent. Some talk about feeling a maternal or paternal instinct or drive – while others have no such inkling.
Then there are those people who are pretty ambivalent about having kids – and only begin considering parenthood when they reach a particular age or milestone (e.g. their 35th birthday), or when some event happens that makes them reconsider this issue (e.g. the death of a parent; falling in love with someone who really wants kids; when their friends start having children).
You might be interested in reading the stories of other people who have created happy and full lives without children:
Some books that might be helpful:
Complete without Kids: An Insider’s Guide to Childfree Living by Choice or Chance by Ellen L. Walker (2011).
Without Child: Challenging the Stigma of Childlessness by Laurie Lisle (1999).
Beyond Motherhood: Choosing a Life without Children by Jeanne Safer (1996).
Two is Enough: A Couple’s Guide to Living Childless by Choice by Laura S. Scott (2009).
This research has been made into a documentary. Find out more here.
Because it can sometimes be challenging to find other like-minded people who aren’t parents or planning to become parents, most large cities have groups specifically for adults who don’t have children – so they can socialize and pursue activities together (e.g., sports, travel, theatre, etc.). Check on-line to see if there’s a group like this in your community. There are also countless blogs out there on childlessness –– which can serve as a window into the experience of childlessness.
Check out whether or not there is a local chapter of the No Kidding! child-free social group in your area.