The worst thing you can say during infertility

Trying to get pregnant? Tired of people saying “Just relax?” Based on her own experience of infertility, Keiko Zoll says offering unsolicited advice to those who are trying to get pregnant such as “just relax” isn’t helpful. Elisabeth Morray, a psychologist at the Harvard Vanguard Centre for Fertility and Reproductive Health in Boston agrees, saying that people shouldn’t rush to conclusions about the conflicting evidence on the relationship between stress and infertility. Rather, they should focus on reducing the stress involved in the often emotionally draining and stressful fertility treatment process.

In a new blog post, Zoll suggests those struggling with infertility may want to prepare some witty comebacks to people’s unsolicited advice, such as “Babies come when babies come” or “I have a whole team of experts working on that”.  She also recommends finding people who you can talk to about your fertility challenges – whether it’s a support group, a counsellor, or trusted friend or family member. People can also find support through RESOLVE: The National Infertility Association (link). Zoll concludes:

“Surrounding yourself with people who truly “get it” (meaning the emotional, financial, and physical stresses of infertility) not only validates your experiences, but it also helps you manage it all. And reducing stress during infertility through peer support isn’t about getting pregnant faster: It’s about making the infertility journey a little less painful, a little less isolating, and a lot more empowered, assured, and whole.”

Learn more about Keiko and her infertility experience and advice at The Infertility Voice.

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