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Single and no kids? Tips for getting through the family-oriented holiday season

The family-oriented focus of the holiday season can be particularly difficult for those who are single and don’t yet have kids – especially those who want to become a parent, but haven’t been able to find the right partner with whom they can build a family. If you find yourself in this situation, the holidays may stir up feelings of sadness and loss.

A recent blog post by therapist Dr. Marcy Cole, published on The Huffington Post, outlined six “holiday blues solutions” for those who are single and don’t have children.

Dr. Cole suggests that you address your feelings around the holidays rather than resisting them, and remind yourself that there isn’t any shame in feeling this way. She encourages reaching out for support and remembering that how you’re feeling is only temporary – these feelings will pass. She suggests that you choose to view the holidays in a different way, and spend your time doing meaningful things that give you comfort. It can also be very helpful to shift your focus from what you feel is missing in your life, to an appreciation for life’s blessings. Dr. Cole suggests that you can use this formula to “transform any previous discomfort into opportunity, in all areas of your life. It’s all a matter of perception, decision, and self-motivated action.” She ends her post with the following words of encouragement for those who are single and childless:

Life is all too brief to short-change ourselves ….   As feelings of regret or void may surface at times, let us rejoice in our power to reclaim what IS, embracing and enjoying all the positive relationships, experiences and contributions that are our enduring legacy.

We are a community of souls — each striving for happiness and fulfillment. Look around you — you are not alone.

Read Dr. Cole’s blog here.


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