4th December 2013 | by MFC Team
Keeping a marriage strong during IVF
A recent blog on The New York Times website highlighted the challenges of keeping a marriage strong while going through in vitro fertilization (IVF). The author, Amy Klein, chronicles her fertility journey each week on the blog Motherlode. In this post, she reflects on the impact of IVF on her relationship. While there are times that she envies her friend, Rachel, who is going through an IVF cycle as a single woman, Amy recognizes that there are benefits to going through IVF with a partner. Acknowledging the “crazy roller coaster” of IVF, Amy wonders how single women do it? Based on her own experiences of treatment she feels: “It’s the emotional part that seems too hard to do without a partner.”
Despite what she believes is a strong marriage and her deep affection for her husband, Amy recognizes that their infertility has taken a toll on their relationship. Although there are days where she would rather stay in her pjs, sob, stare at the tv, and not talk to anyone, she knows that it hurts her husband to see her this way because it’s hard for him to know what to do to help her. She realizes that in navigating her fertility journey, she’s not just responsible for herself, but also for her husband and their relationship because they are in this process together:
I looked at him and realized it’s not only about me. I am not alone. And even though sometimes I wish I could be like Rachel and drown in my sorrows, I am now responsible for someone else: Solomon. Or more important, for something else: our marriage…I have to get happier. Not “pretend” happy – although that will do over moping – but real happy. For him. For us. He deserves it.
Read more about how to keep your relationship strong during fertility treatments here.
Read the blog post here.
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