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Getting onboard with my wife’s baby dreams

My name is Mal and my wife’s name is Kavita. We’ve been married for 5 years now. On our first date, Kavita was open about wanting to have kids. She said she wanted the family issue out in the open because if I wasn’t on board, then she wasn’t going to continue our relationship. I admired her forthrightness – in fact, that, along with her determination, was one of the reasons that I fell in love with her. I was honest with her on that first date that I didn’t really have a burning desire to have kids, but I wasn’t totally against the idea either. That must have been enough for Kavita because she agreed to meet me again for a second date.

Our relationship progressed pretty quickly from there. We were engaged a year later, married a year after that, and now we’ve recently celebrated our 5th wedding anniversary. As far as I’m concerned, we have a pretty great life. We both have good jobs, we have lots of friends and family nearby, and we’re able to do a lot of travelling. I’ve been pretty happy with the way our life has been over the last few years. But Kavita has started getting antsy to have a baby. She talks about babies all the time. When we’re walking past a baby store, she’ll point out something cute in the window. When we visit with friends who have a baby, on the drive home she’ll gush about how sweet the baby is. Even first thing in the morning when we’re having breakfast, she talks about her favourite baby names. It’s like she has baby fever!

I guess with all these signs, I shouldn’t have been surprised when we were having dinner last night that she brought up the topic of having a baby. Initially I felt my stomach drop because I’m not quite sure that I’m ready to give up the great life that we’ve built. I think I’m also nervous about whether or not I’ll be able to handle the responsibilities of fatherhood and adjust to being a family of three. But as I saw Kavita’s face light up with the excitement of talking about having a baby, I have to admit that I got a little bit excited too. I could almost imagine a son or daughter with her determination and my sense of humour.

I had to expect the kid issue would rear its head eventually, especially when Kavita was so open from square one that motherhood was her dream. I decided to keep dating her, and then I married her. I knew what I was getting into! So despite my fears and hesitations, we’re in this together and I have to trust that adding a little person to our life will make it even better.

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