Saying Good-Bye Because He Isn’t Ready to Have Kids

My boyfriend and I have been dating on and off since we met at university about 10 years ago. We fight, we get back together, we fight, we get back together. That’s the pattern. He goes back and forth on the issues of kids as well. One day he says he definitely wants to be a dad but just isn’t ready. Then another day he says he really can’t imagine ever having kids. Its crazy-making. He knows I’ve always wanted to be a mother, but whenever I raise the issue, he keeps putting it off – saying he’s just not ready. Well, we’ve been together for 10 and he still isn’t ready. I’m 34 and can’t wait forever – especially if I want 2 or 3 kids like I’ve always dreamed of.

I’ve finally come to realize that he may never be ready. I can’t keep waiting, so I need to end this relationship. The thought of being alone is really scary, but not as scary as the idea that I’ll never have kids if I stay with him. It feels a bit risky…there’s no guarantee that by breaking up with him that my “prince charming” will just be around the corner. I might end up alone. Maybe I’ll have to consider having a child on my own. I’ll cross that bridge when I come to in. But in my heart of hearts, I know I need to move on. So that’s what I’m going to do.


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