Why I waited to have kids: Two women share their experience of delayed motherhood

Women who are considering delaying childbearing might appreciate reading the recently released books by Sarah Ivens and Victoria Young, which highlight the upsides and downsides of older motherhood.

Sarah Ivens, from Chigwell in Essex, UK, is 39 and married her husband Russell when she was 33. She had her first baby, William, at age 35, and her second, Matilda, at 38. She shares:

I would have been a terrible mother in my twenties. There were the obvious things missing like financial stability and a good man (I married my husband when I was 33) but also more subtle things missing that I believe you need to be a good mum – like patience, confidence, and an ability to live with no regrets. Waiting until I was 35 and had fulfilled my personal dreams and ambitions meant I could take my foot of the pedal and let go of the career ladder I’d been so desperately and doggedly climbing since leaving university at 21.

You can read more about Sarah’s experience in her book: No Regrets: 101 Things to Do before You’re too Old, Married or Pregnant.

Victoria Young, from London, UK, is 41 and married her husband Tom when she was 37. She had her son Morgan soon after she was married. Victoria writes:

I didn’t exactly decide to have my first child at 37. But what I did decide, four years earlier, was that I only wanted children if the whole package was right…Many people in my life thought I was crazy; and said that I was condemning myself to a childless future. I realised they might be right, but had to stick by my epiphany – that I only wanted children if I had them with the right man…Of course I have sometimes wondered what life would have been like if I’d had children in my early thirties like lots of my friends. But I always stop myself short: if I had done that, it wouldn’t have been with Tom. And that is why 37 turned out to be the perfect age for me to have a baby.

You can read more bout Victoria’s experience in her book: Things I wish I’d Known: Women tell the truth about Motherhood.

Read more about delayed motherhood here.

Read more here.

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