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Using my partner’s brother as our sperm donor

My name is Susan and my wife’s name is Lucy. I met Lucy at a friend’s wedding about two years ago. We hit it off immediately, and before long we were living together, planning our wedding and coming up with baby names. I always knew I wanted to go through pregnancy and childbirth. Lucy always knew that she didn’t. So that made it easy when we had to decide who was going to get pregnant. Even though Lucy didn’t want to be pregnant, she felt strongly that her genes should be represented in our child. She’s a huge fan of all of those genealogy shows and learning about your family tree.

We thought we had the perfect solution. We’d use Lucy’s eggs and donor sperm to create embryos through IVF, and then I’d carry the pregnancy. She’d be the genetic mother and I’d be the gestational mother. We booked an appointment at a fertility clinic and when through all the screening tests. Unfortunately, Lucy’s test results indicated that her egg quality wasn’t good enough for IVF. We were both pretty bummed out and felt like we’d hit a major road block. Then one night when we were talking with Lucy’s brother Charlie, who knew we were upset about Lucy’s test results, he said, “why not use my sperm?” Charlie wasn’t currently in a relationship and didn’t want any kids of his own, but he said he’d be happy to help us have a baby. Lucy and I were blown away. But after taking some time to consider his offer, we decided it was the perfect solution – with Charlie’s sperm and my eggs, our child would carry both of our bloodlines. The clinic confirmed that Charlie’s sperm count is great, and that we won’t need to do IVF.

So we made an appointment with a lawyer and drew up an agreement. All three of us spoke with a counsellor to be sure we’re on the same page about Charlie’s role as uncle to our child, and we agree on when and what Lucy and I will eventually tell our son or daughter. We’re booked for our first insemination next week and are so excited we can barely sleep. Wish us luck!

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