Deciding who gets pregnant first!

Alexis and I met through mutual friends a few years ago. We started talking about having kids on one of our first dates. We both knew that we wanted to have kids in the future. We’re now more than two years into our relationship, and things are going great. We both feel like we’d found our soul mates. So we started talking more seriously about expanding our family. We already have a dog and two cats, and it seems like the right time to take the next big step and have kids. That’s when things got really interesting. When we talked about the details, we realized that we both wanted to experience pregnancy and were both keen to be the first to get pregnant. As we worked through the other details of finding a suitable sperm donor, we tried not to be too concerned about the “who is going first” issue. We both knew we wanted to have children and share parenthood with each other, and even joked about the fact that if both of us checked out OK in terms of our fertility, we may end up having to flip a coin to decide who goes first!

As it turns out, fate intervened and has given us our answer. Although Alexis and I are both in our early 30s, the results of our fertility testing indicate that my fertility appears to be fine but Alexis has “diminished ovarian reserve”- meaning it may be more difficult for her to become pregnant, especially the longer we wait. I’ll be honest and admit that I felt a twinge when we got that that news, because I know it means that if Alexis is to have any chance of becoming pregnant, she needs to start trying now. So we’ve selected an identity release donor we both feel comfortable with, and Alexis is starting inseminations next month. I’ll be there holding her hand through the entire process, because the more I think about it, it isn’t important who goes first. I know I’ll have my turn eventually. My fertility test results were quite encouraging, so it’s more likely that I’ll be able to have a child, even a couple years from now. In the end, what’s really important is that we have the chance to share this experience together. So wish us luck!

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