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35 and still not ready to have kids

My name is Jayla and I’m 35 years old. For the last couple of years during my yearly appointment with my doctor to get my birth control prescription refilled, she’s raised the issue of having kids. I said “yeah, I want kids in the future, but I’m not ready yet”. My doc’s response was to remind me that fertility declines with age and that if I want kids, I can’t wait forever.

At my latest appointment, she turned up the heat by telling me that at 35, I had reached the “magic number” when a woman’s fertility starts to decline more rapidly. She suggested if I really want to have kids, I should get on with it soon, so I’m less likely to have problems getting pregnant. I think she was trying to be helpful, but I admit it also stressed me out about the kid issue. Sure I’d like to have kids at some point in the future, but right now being a mother doesn’t fit into my life. I recently started my own small business and I want to get that off the ground before having kids. I know my boyfriend would have kids with me in an instant, but being a bit old fashioned, I want to be married before starting a family. Despite my declining fertility, I need to feel more settled and ready before I take on the responsibility of raising a child. I know my life circumstances will likely never be perfect, and I may never feel totally ready to become a parent. If that means it will take longer to get pregnant, or that I might have to use fertility treatments, or that I might not be able to have a child, than that’s a risk that I’m willing to take.

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