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I’ve put in my 5 years…now we’re ready to start our family

My name is Amy. I graduated with a degree in business about 5 years ago. I was recruited to a large consulting firm after graduation which meant that I had to move across the country. My boyfriend Paul decided to come with me since his graphic design company was pretty mobile and as long as he had his Mac and cell-phone, he could work pretty much anywhere. The recruiters were pretty vocal in the interviews that the firm that was offering me a job wanted someone who would commit to being there for the long term, which I said I would be happy to do. This job was an amazing opportunity for me to learn many different aspects of HR and move up the ladder in a large company. Having offices in several other countries, there was also the possibility of being transferred to Australia or Europe.

I remember talking with Paul when I started my job, and we agreed that I’d put a good 5 years into building my career and contributing to the company before we had children. At the time, that seemed a long way off. Now, 5 years, one wedding, two dogs, and one townhouse later, Paul and I both feel we are ready to start a family! My work is pretty intense and most people I work with don’t have kids – they seem to live, eat, and breathe their jobs – much like I have for the last 5 years. But now it feels like it’s time to shift my priorities. But I have to admit, the scariest part about the whole thing will be telling my boss. Since Paul and I got married last year, she keeps making these comments like, “well, are you going to be around for this project or are you going to hit the mommy track?” I figure that it’s none of her business at this point. We haven’t even started trying and we don’t know whether or not we’ll be able to get pregnant, or how long it might take, given that we’re in our 30s. I know I want to take my maternity leave, and they have to save a position for me, but I dread my boss’ reaction, and the reactions of my colleagues, when I eventually tell them I’m taking time off to have a baby. Paul keeps telling me that it’s my right to take a maternity leave and my boss can’t guilt me into delaying having a baby any longer.

I also worry about what it’s going to be like to juggle work and motherhood. I’m a pretty organized person, but I know from watching my sister with her “big” job and 2 kids, that it can be hard to juggle everything once you return to work. Thankfully, Paul’s work is pretty flexible and he’s willing to pitch in and help out when I go back to work. But whenever I start stressing out or thinking too far ahead, Paul reminds me to slow down and take it a step at a time. He makes a good point. I don’t want to get too ahead of myself. So for now, I’m going to enjoy the process of actually trying to get pregnant after years to trying not to get pregnant! We’ll cross the bridges as we come to them, and ultimately, while my career is really important to me, so is having a family. So my career might have to take a back seat for a few years after being my main priority for the last 5 years. It feels exciting and, I admit, a bit nerve wracking, to be shifting our priorities. But I think we’re both ready for this next stage in our lives! Now we just have to hope nature cooperates…

Share your thoughts on Amy and Paul’s story in the comments section below, or submit your own fertility story here.

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