10th October 2012 | by MFC Team
From an adopted daughter to an adoptive mom
I always knew that I wanted to be an adoptive mother. My parents adopted my sister and I when we were very young. My parents had already had 4 kids who were teenagers when they decided that they wanted to adopt more children. They adopted my sister and I at the same time from an orphanage in Vietnam. For me, those early years at home with my boisterous and loving family were the best years of my life and came to define what it means to be a “family”. In our house, dinner-time was always a big production – my parents made it a rule that everyone had to stop what they were doing for the family meal. We all talked about what had happened that day. We were meant to take turns but inevitably people talked over each other and interrupted each other with excitement when someone reminded them of something else that had happened that day. There was so much joy in that room, and it didn’t matter if we were related by blood – we all loved each other and that was what mattered.
When I thought about my future I use to dream about meeting a partner and adopting a child (or a few!). I always wanted to give other children the wonderful gift my family had given me – the chance to be part of a wonderful, loving family. Its funny though – whenever I talked with friends or potential partners about wanting to adopt, I found myself coming up against people’s judgments – “Isn’t adoption usually a back up plan when you can’t have your own kids?” or “Why would you want to take a chance on adopting a child who may already have problems?” Given that I was adopted, what were they saying about the risks my parents took in adopting me? And aren’t there risks involved in having your own children?
When I met my husband Rick I talked to him about being adopted and wanting to adopt a child when we were ready to start a family. He was honest and said that he’d never considered adoption and felt pretty wary about it. But after learning more about adoption and knowing how much it meant to me, he became more open to the idea. So we looked at the various options and have settled on international adoption. It took a couple of years, but six months ago we brought our daughter home from China. She’s a bright, happy little girl who is filling our lives with so much love and joy. We’ve decided to keep her given name, Chao, and plan to help her stay connected to her Chinese roots and community. We don’t know yet what we’ll do when we’re ready to grow our family, but for now our lives are richer for having this beautiful little girl as part of our family.
Read more about adoption here.
This is a really beautiful story. I think people often forget about adoption as a way to build their family. I’m adopted, too and I’d definitely think about adopting when I’m ready to have children. I’m grateful to my parents for opening their hearts to me.