5th July 2012 | by MFC Team
Considering Using Egg or Embryo Donation to Expand my Family
My name is Paula and I’m 43 years old. It took me a while to decide whether or not I wanted to become a mother. Since the right guy never came along, I kept putting off my decision to become a mother. But when I reached my 43rd birthday this year it was like everything became crystal clear – if I really wanted to have a child I better try now, with or without a partner since time was running out! Suddenly I saw babies everywhere and for the first time in my life I actually felt a physical yearning to have a child. But I was afraid that I had waited too long. Surprisingly, my fertility tests revealed that while my fertility was declining, I was still ovulating and my FSH levels weren’t too high. I felt my hopes growing as I heard the doctor say that I still had a chance of conceiving using my own eggs. I selected my sperm donor and scheduled my first IUI session. The first IUI didn’t work. I was disappointed, but I remembered that my doctor told me it would likely take 3-5 tries for it to happen. The next IUI didn’t work. And then another. And then another. And another. That’s where I’m at now – after starting treatment about 9 months ago, I find myself with 5 failed IUI cycles, less money in my bank account…and no baby to show for it. My 44th birthday is just a couple months away. I’m still reeling from the latest disappointment of another failed treatment cycle. And now my doctor is suggesting that I consider egg or embryo donation. I’m still in shock. I always thought that when and if I was ready to become a mother, everything would fall into place and 9 months later I’d have a beautiful baby in my arms. But my arms are empty and my heart is broken. I’ll never have a child who carries my genes and family history. Now my only option to become a mother is to go into significant debt to try to have a child that will not genetically be related to me. The money is one thing, and I’m sure I can love a child that’s not “mine” – especially since I’ll be carrying that little life in my own body. But I’m not sure I can cope with another failure if this doesn’t work. I’m scared and I’m not sure what to do at this point? I ask myself “Do I want a baby so much that I’m willing to go to whatever lengths are necessary? Or is this the point where I need to say enough is enough?” If I walk away now, will I regret this forever? That’s where I’m at right now.