14th June 2012 | by MFC Team
We’re Not Having Kids, and It’s OK
I’ve never had the urge to have kids, but I always kept it in the back of my mind as a possibility – maybe more because I felt like it was what everybody did and everyone expected me to do. In my 20s I went to college and in my 30s I dated casually. But I never met a guy who made me feel like settling down and having a family. My life was pretty full with travelling, spending time with my family and friends, and biking and playing tennis.
Then I met Conner when I was 39. He is 5 years older and quite established in his career. He comes from a huge extended Italian family with lots of nieces and nephews. Yet he didn’t ever want to have kids. He was hugely relieved to find out that I didn’t have a great urge to have children either.
Now that I’m in my 40s and I’ve found someone who doesn’t want kids, it’s kind of a relief to have the whole “kid thing” off of the table. I love my live with Conner. We have so much in common and he’s a wonderful partner. We have lots of kids in our lives but we aren’t parents, and we aren’t planning to be. I’m okay with that. I feel good about our decision.
The only time it’s hard is when people tell us that we’re going to regret not having kids and that we’re making a mistake because we won’t have anyone to take care of us when we’re older. Sure the future is uncertain, but even if you have kids, there’s no guarantee they’re going to be there for you when you’re old or sick. And we have some really good friends who also are childfree by choice. I imagine we’ll take care of each other when we’re old. As I picture my life in the future, I don’t feel any twinges of regret or “if onlys”. I’m embracing life as a “child-free” woman and taking advantage of every door that is open to me – to us – because of this choice.